Because Foie Gras is Already Against the Law

Chris LaMorte (check him out on Facebook) wrote an article about a new plague in Chicago. No, nothing serious, just frogs. In restaurants. Anyway, he sure can pack the references to pop culture and Chicago subcultures pretty densely:

“Well it’s not a plague exactly, but frogs definitely seem to be having their moment. They’ve hopped onto menus at the most unlikely places –i.e. Soiree, a new DePaul-area cocktail lounge where they pair nicely with, you know, vodka-Red Bulls. Now scientists report that bullfrogs are good for you –they contain some sort of anti-aging molecule. Expect Janice Dickinson to be eating them Jabba-the-Hutt style.

So what’s a frogophobe like me to do? Thanks to Anthony “I ate the still-beating heart of a cobra” Bourdain, food writers are supposed to fearlessly chomp anything unfortunate enough to be lower on the food chain.”

LaMorte also somehow works in a reference to wine that “effervesces in the mouth like Alka-Seltzer in soda” and mostaccioli. And I learned that is how to spell mostaccioli despite my spell check’s scary red line.

“Do You Carry Kumquats?”

Jason Steele writes the column “Boy on Boystown” weekly for the Redeye, taking the space to tackle very pertinent issues in and about Chicago’s very own gayborhood. Such diversity! This week the always-insightful Boy of Steele talks about how his gaydar was on the fritz. He had a “misinterpregaytion”! He was forced to deal with his own “shock” when a friend who lives in Wrigleyville and is a “big sports nut” talked about dumping his ex-boyfriend. No! Gays can like sports????!?

But while we’re busy not dealing in stereotypes, Jason leaves us with this gem about a fellow at Whole Foods asking about kumquats: “My gaydar determined he wasn’t gay; he just thought I worked there. But even if he isn’t gay, his produce sure is.”

So, tiny oranges=gay. We’ll add that to our list of Things That Are Gay, right after saying goodnight to your roommate. Thanks, Jason!

Redeye’s Redhot Redhorrible

Anyone who picks up a copy of the Redeye, the Chicago Tribune’s “concise and authentic” free daily paper, is bound to be blown away by the amazing wit found in the Redhot headlines on the back page. My favorite today: “She’s Helping Out,”(halfway down the linked page) accompanying a story about singer Rihanna’s turn as a “bone marrow awareness advocate” as reported by the AP. She’s helping out? Who? How? I’m glad that headline was informative and attention grabbing. Is that even a pun? Maybe it’s a play on one of her songs and resonates with serious Rihanna fans. The only way that could resonate with me is if it ended in -ella -eh -eh -eh. As for this headline? Eh.